Wrong

Your name is Dolph. You wake up (at 7:60 a.m.) and your dog is missing. You call Jesus Organic Pizza to distract yourself and talk to the counter-girl about why their logo is a rabbit riding a motorcycle. In your backyard, your palm tree has turned into a pine tree. Your landscaper sleeps with the pizza-counter girl. She thought it was you. A man calls you and tells you to meet him. His name is Master Chang (played by the criminally underused character actor William Fichtner.) His face is half-burnt and he sports a ridiculous braided ponytail. He gives you a book he wrote about telepathic communication between dogs and their owners. A detective, dressed like a low-rent Indiana Jones, shows up and wants a sample of Paul’s fecal matter, which he’ll later analyze and convert into a video signal. Why is any of this happening? It’s just... Wrong.