They

Rated NR

Since Wes Craven helmed the Scream franchise you would assume that the maestro of spooky spoofs would follow his own advice about how to make a grade A horror flick. But you know what you do when you assume. Nineteen years ago mysterious slimy spidery critters from undisclosed origins attacked innocent children to plant a 4-inch long tracking device in the kids’ bodies so that the gruesome ghouls illogically could disappear for nearly two decades only to reappear suddenly and relocate their chosen targets for inexplicable reasons. The now-grown hunted prey with their minimal brain power miraculously have managed to collect clues about their predators, like the fact that lights have kryptonite-like powers and dark passageways serve as their portals from wherever. However, the idiotic cast does not use these helpful hints advantageously. Instead, they flounder around in dark secluded subway tunnels at 2 a.m., explore air conditioning vents alone, and behave so frustratingly stupid that you start rooting for the incomprehensible alien monster things to attack and put the wayward prey out of their dimwitted existence.

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