MONDAY, APRIL 21TUBE TIED: It's TV Turn-Off Week! Organizers encourage Americans to stay away from the glass teat between today and next Sunday, April 27: "Turning off the television gives us a chance to think, read, create and do. To connect with our families and engage in our communities. To turn off TV and turn on life."
The Range is totally down with that idea, watching only the Mets-Phillies game we had TiVo'ed the previous day (which doesn't count, right?), as well as The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, because we have a professional obligation to keep up with current events.
TUESDAY, APRIL 22TRASH TALK: The Tucson City Council votes to increase rates for commercial garbage collection. Council members do not adjust the cost for residential collection, which remains $14 a month.
ULTIMATE LEGISLATION: The Arizona Legislature votes to make the state safe for Ultimate Fighting Championship matches. The violent tussles, which involve a mix of martial arts and boxing, had been banned in the state.
TUBE TIED, PART II: The Range continues our participation in TV Turn-Off Week, watching only The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, as well as some election returns from Pennsylvania, where Hillary Clinton's hard-charging campaign results in a net gain of 10 delegates in the Democratic presidential-primary race. Hillary tells voters in her victory speech that they deserve a fighter like her.
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 23TUBE TIED, PART III: We watch an old episode of The Shield, FX's high-octane cop drama, but we tune in while we're working on our home elliptical machine, which is surely an exemption under the rules of TV Turn-Off Week. Later, we backslide a bit and catch a few innings of the Yankees-White Sox game, and when our colleague McFury comes over, we take a look at how cool this season's first episode of Battlestar Galactica looked in high def on the big screen.
THURSDAY, APRIL 24ALL'S FAIR: The Range goes to the Pima County Fair with Tucson Weekly intern Matthew Kielty, with the objective of putting the kid on as many rides as possible so he will puke on camera for our fledgling YouTube channel. Unfortunately, the lines are so long that it takes a half-hour to get on any of the really cool rides, so we give up after putting him on The Zipper, which leaves him dizzy but, sadly, not nauseous, despite his earlier consumption of deep-fried Oreos.
We also admire the arts and crafts in Old Pueblo Hall, particularly the gun display that includes the "kill zone of a gopher"; we try out the vibrating power of the Footsie-Wootsie machine; and we get the second-worse massage of our life in Thurber Hall when we're dragged into a massage chair by a gang of Asian body workers, who proceed to thump us in a most unpleasant manner. Catch the highlights at www.youtube.com/tucsonweeklytv.
TUBE TIED, PART IV: We end up watching The Office when we get home from the fair around 10 p.m., but that's it. We swear we did not then flip around randomly for the next two or three hours instead of going to the Stephen Malkmus show at Plush.
FRIDAY, APRIL 25STATIC ON THE MORNING SHOW: UA Coach Lute Olson calls into the KRQ FM 93.7 radio morning show to complain that his estranged wife, Christine Olson, is out to destroy him. Olson is responding to the latest twist in his ongoing divorce battle: his decision to transfer funds from a joint account to a separate account controlled by Lute. The private and reserved Coach O also tells Johnjay and Rich that the morning daily is just too darned negative.
After Lute hangs up, Christine Olson calls in to assure Johnjay and Rich that she would never try to destroy Lute, because she still cares so much for him, even though he's turned into a big old liar. "This is not the man I met six years ago," Christine says. "This is not the man I married."
TUBE TIED, PART V: The Range tunes into Arizona Illustrated, as well as the latest episode of Battlestar Galactica, which features some really twisted S&M action. And we end up watching 30 Days of Night, but only because it's due back at Casa Video on Saturday. In retrospective, renting a movie during TV Turn-Off Week probably wasn't such a hot idea.
SATURDAY, APRIL 26GOING BOTH WAYS: Heads up when driving downtown! The Tucson Transportation Department changes one-way Stone and Sixth avenues into two-way streets south of Broadway Boulevard. The department hopes to eventually have two-way traffic in the entire corridor, although converting Congress Street and Broadway from one-way streets is less likely.
ONE LAST ROUND: A healthy crowd turns out at Magic Carpet Golf for One Final Round, a festival to raise money to save the goofy golf course's concrete attractions and fix up the Valley of the Moon. Magic Carpet Golf, 6125 E. Speedway Blvd., closed earlier this year when the property was sold to a neighboring car dealership. Big props to the event organizers, who touched up the course and hosted a fun time for all.
TUBE TIED, PART VI: We accidentally turn on the TV after we wake up, and we find ourselves captivated by Move Over, Darling, a screwball romantic comedy with James Garner, Doris Day and Polly Bergen. The carwash scene is a scream! We also watch a few innings of baseball and the HBO premiere of 28 Weeks Later, but other than that, we mostly stay away from the TV.