The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

I’m getting a little tired of movies in which Jesus is a lion. There was the first Chronicles of Narnia, The Lion King (Simba was a sort of messiah, wasn’t he?) and the much revered I Was There at Golgotha When They Crucified My Lord … and He Was a Big-Assed Lion! This first sequel to the biblically themed children’s adventure is certainly better than the original film. (My problem with The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe: too much lion, not enough wardrobe.) The kids journey back to Narnia, which has become a much darker place where the trees just don’t dance anymore. They are there to help one Prince Caspian (Ben Barnes) become king. Big distraction: The accent Barnes employs has him sounding a lot like Mandy Patinkin in The Princess Bride. (I kept expecting him to say, “My name is Inigo Montoya … you killed my father … prepare to die.”) The effects and battle sequences are often impressive, but the movie needed more of Tilda Swinton’s Ice Witch. She’s only in it for, like, five minutes! The young actress with the impossibly large lips gets on my nerves. I know that’s petty, but it’s true.