Resident Evil: Extinction

Little-known fact: After the zombie apocalypse, there’ll still be plenty of eyeliner. Or so Resident Evil: Extinction would have us believe. The film follows a trio of hot, ass-kicking, ninja-fied women in revealing outfits as they blast their way across a desert landscape and toward a research facility filled with evil science men. The moral: Chicks in tight clothes are good, and men in lab coats are bad. It’s kind of like a combination of the moral philosophies of Maxim magazine and America’s Bible Belt voters. Milla Jovovich’s nipples, Ali Larter’s legs and Spencer Locke’s breasts star as goodness, and Iain Glen plays the part of science/evil. It’s not boring; the action sequences are filmed well; and the story proceeds at about the right pace—jai guru with their deva om but it’s pretty much the cinematic equivalent of getting mildly drunk on cheap beer. You might have fun, but you’re not going to grow by the experience.