Feb. 5, 7:31 a.m.
Someone smeared excrement (human or animal, we'll never know) on the door handle of someone's car, stated a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.
A north-side-dwelling Tucsonan talked with a sheriff's deputy by phone, reporting that "to his vehicle, poop was smeared on (the) driver's side door and key hole, and all over the handle." He said he'd found the "poop" on his car that morning in the parking lot where he worked.
It was the second time his car had been vandalized, he said, but the earlier incident had only involved someone smearing eggs on the vehicle, and he believed that to have been a separate incident.
The excrement incident, he said, he did not believe to be a prank; in fact, his boss at work agreed with him that the perpetrator had likely been his ex-girlfriend, against whom he had an order of protection. Unfortunately, he had no proof she'd smeared the "poop" and he'd already cleaned his car of all traces of it.