Jan. 2, 8:56 a.m.
After being caught in a fast-food joint with drug paraphernalia in his underpants, a man in a color-coordinated outfit bragged about his skills at hiding actual drugs on his person—or, literally, in his person—according to a PCSD report.
Sheriff's deputies were called to a north-side McDonalds to remove a man banned from the premises after having been previously caught there using drugs in the bathroom.
The deputy first on the scene approached the subject—a 6-foot, 205-pound 30-something wearing blue shoes, blue pants and a blue sweater vest—at a table, where said he'd come to "hang out." He claimed that since the charges from the earlier incident had been dropped, he wasn't banned from the McDonalds anymore—but the deputy said the lack of a conviction had no relation to the restaurant simply not wanting him there.
The man acted like he hadn't heard the officer and refused to stand, so the deputy had to reach behind his back to lift him up for handcuffing—at which point the man began a prolonged effort to eat a baggie he'd retrieved from his pocket.
Warned of the subject's actions by another deputy who'd just arrived, the arresting deputy tugged hard on the man's hand holding the baggie, causing it to fall on the ground. After a long skirmish with two deputies, the man was handcuffed and searched; deputies discovered that in his pants and underpants he'd been hiding a syringe and wax paper (both with drug residue) and a cut-up aluminum can (apparently for smoking drugs). An unidentified pill was found inside the baggie.
The subject's only other possessions were some cigarettes, a lighter and a collection of decorative coins.
He told deputies in the past, when brought to jail, he'd hidden drugs "in the crack of his buttocks ... and in his nose, as deputies and corrections officers did not usually check" those places, as well as occasionally hiding needles "underneath his skin."
That day, he said, he didn't have drugs in those places because he'd been planning on going to rehab. He was jailed instead. No drugs were reportedly found hidden in any parts of his body.