June 26, 8:19 p.m.
A recently divorced man came home to find that his ex had covered his kitchen in garbage—after brazenly writing him not just a warning but ostensibly a justification for this trash-and-dash transgression, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.
Upon sheriff's deputies' arrival at the man's home, he said earlier he'd received an email with a subject line pretending it was about "parenting time" regarding their shared children—but it actually read, "Your garbage is on the floor cuz I had to pick up my food. Good news, is that's not a reason to call CRC." (Apparently the CRC, or Crisis Response Center—a local mental-health/substance-use crisis facility—had been involved in at least one of their previous encounters.)
In his kitchen deputies saw "a large amount of trash spread out" in front of the refrigerator and across the floor. Said one deputy, "It did not appear as if someone had simply moved some trash to look for something inside the can, but had either dumped trash out onto the floor or spread the trash out on the floor." Of course, even this denunciatory statement would imply the dubious scenario of the ex-wife needing to seek her food in the reportee's trash can.
Deputies went to the woman's house—where her car was parked right in front—but she wouldn't answer the door, so they couldn't make contact.
Fortunately the victim had recently obtained an order of protection that could be served the next weekday and would hold his ex-wife accountable for her dirty deed.