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Police Dispatch

The Strong, Silent (but Foul-Mouthed) Type

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South Kinney Road

June 12, 5 p.m.

An "angry" drunk man blatantly took almost $34 worth of stuff from a convenience store (although he did strangely decide to pay for $2 of it) before engaging sheriff's deputies in quite a struggle, maintaining silence the whole time ... except to cuss, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

The Sheriff's Department was contacted by the manager of a south-side Circle K, who said a strange man had come in looking "angry," then left and walked into the parking lot—where he proceeded to randomly yell at his surroundings, apparently "on some type of narcotics."

He returned to the store shortly thereafter and acted as if he were going to buy many miscellaneous items, including Marlboro Red cigarettes, five Daily Cross lottery tickets, candy bars, beef jerky and a blue lighter. But after the clerk gave him the lottery tickets and cigarettes, he just threw $2 down on the counter and walked out again. (The items he stole were worth $34.85—plus, the manager learned later, the value of some other candy bars he'd taken without being seen when he'd first come in.)

He then ran up the street to a nearby McDonald's, the clerk said.

Deputies found him there, outside, with his pockets full of all the items the reportee had described—and smoking one of the cigarettes he'd just taken. One deputy approached him and asked him to extinguish his cigarette, worried he'd burn him with it, but the man completely ignored him, not even making eye contact—so the deputy took hold of his wrist to take it. The man tried to pull away, without a word, so two deputies had to forcefully put his hands behind his back to handcuff him, and when he continued to struggle, they forced him to the ground.

After deputies sat him up and read him his Miranda warning and asked him if he would speak, answer any questions or make any statements, he was still wordless, so they presumed he was invoking his right to remain silent.

Since he was very sweaty, but his skin was cold, and started nodding off, deputies called the paramedics, who determined he'd drunk "quite a bit of vodka."

But he was soon lively again: When deputies decided to jail him, he physically fought being placed in their patrol vehicle, spitting on one deputy's left cheek, kicking his legs and even trying to strike deputies with his head. It was at this point he finally spoke ... but only to yell, "Fucking assholes!" and threatening to "kick (their) ass(es)" if they removed his handcuffs.

Of course they didn't remove his handcuffs.

Finally, they were able to put him inside the car (with a spit hood and in lap, shoulder and leg restraints)—and he continued to scream curses all the way to jail.

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