June 13, 7:24 a.m.
Two neighbors got in a serious fight for a frivolous reason using very primitive—but lethal—armaments, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.
Sheriff's deputies responded to a "deadly weapons" call on the east side, where the reportee—a shirtless man with cuts behind his left ear and on his shoulder, plus a large red welt on his back—said that his neighbor had injured him with "a big stick."
He said he'd been working in his garden, listening to music, when his neighbor came to his front fence and started smashing it with the large stick.
The neighbor reportedly yelled, "Turn that fucking shit (music) off!" and the reportee replied, "Fuck you!"
"Fuck me? Fuck me?!" the neighbor then reportedly repeated, still banging on the fence with the stick.
Fearing for his safety, the reportee said, he grabbed a piece of rebar and some metal stakes, and opened his gate to confront the neighbor—who immediately slammed his back with the big stick, which consequently broke.
He said he then threw a stake at the neighbor (missing him) and started running back to his house—while the other man began throwing rocks, hitting the retreating reportee on the back of the head. (The rocks were only gravel sized, he conceded, but they were thrown "pretty hard.")
Deputies met with the neighbor, who said he "figured he'd already been painted as the bad guy" but insisted that the reportee had actually started the fight. He said that his opponent ran at him with the rebar soon after the argument over the music, and this man only grabbed an old rake handle (the "big stick") in self-defense. He said he and the reportee were both throwing rocks and other objects.
Examining the mess of misplaced rocks in front of the two men's houses (which each had different-colored gravel), deputies couldn't confidently conclude that either was the aggressor. So they made the men promise "to leave each other alone."