San Xavier Beat February 25, 2:30 a.m.
A meth-addled man pushed the "blame-it-on-her-period" cliché to the extreme when he told sheriff's deputies that his girlfriend went crazy, punched herself and ran outside naked all because she was out of tampons ... when in fact, deputies determined, she was perfectly sane and had been running away from him—with good reason—according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.
A deputy was called to the reportee's house, where he said his live-in girlfriend had just run outside completely nude after she started slapping herself and "lost her mind."
This man—whom the deputy recognized immediately from previous encounters—said she'd woken him up around 2:15 a.m., screaming at him incessantly while repeatedly hitting her own face.
He said she was "mad there were no tampons" in the house and that "she was on her period right now and he attributed her actions to that."
The deputy entered the master bedroom to see a methamphetamine pipe attached to a bong sitting on a dressing table. However, knowing the reportee as a previous violent offender, he chose "not to worry about the bong" in order to first ensure the female was OK.
His instincts were on the mark: Just then a fellow officer called him to a nearby Circle K convenience store, where he'd found that the woman wasn't quite OK: Her neck displayed pink marks, as if someone had tried to choke her—and she said that "someone" was her boyfriend.
Other than the marks, she looked normal—and was fully dressed. In fact, she had her purse with her and was buying a soda. She was also totally coherent and calm.
When deputies returned to the house to find the boyfriend, he'd locked himself inside and started yelling at them—adamantly denying having tried to harm his girlfriend (augmenting his earlier story to say she'd actually "punched" herself). Then he said "his attorney told him not to talk" to them (although, when asked, he said he didn't know his attorney's name).
When deputies informed the man they'd "be outside for a while" waiting for him, he became very upset, "ranting and raving." He said "he was not going to go jail for something he did not do and he would rather die."
He then actually called the Sheriff's Department's communications line again—this time apparently to report the very deputies from which he'd earlier requested help—and threatened to kill one of the deputies, plus (for some reason) the dispatcher.
Eventually the reportee—now turned subject—left his house and allowed himself to be handcuffed. He was booked for domestic violence and assault, apparently unaware that he might've avoided jail altogether had he never called law enforcement in the first place. The victim said she planned to move in with a friend.