WHO LET THE DRUNK OUT?
SAN XAVIER BEAT
JULY 20, 5:04 P.M.
After one man perhaps partook of too much "hair of the dog," a peaceful trailer park became a boisterous hotbed of barking—not from a neighborhood canine but from this man, now outside drunk and thrashing around as he bellowed all sorts of strange sounds, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.
An area resident told sheriff's deputies that the man had been screaming, barking, and making other noises at such a volume as to greatly disturb him inside his trailer. When he went outside, he said, he saw the man yelling and flailing his arms in the air, apparently intoxicated. The reportee allegedly had to admonish him to quiet down numerous times before giving up.
During one admonishment, he said, he saw a luxury vehicle pull up to the yelling, flailing man, and its driver punched him in the face, telling him "to stop making threats toward his family." (Apparently, the subject had caused trouble in the trailer park previously.)
But even after being punched, the man reportedly resumed his incessant noise-making and floundering about.
When deputies found him, he was not only still barking—but also now drooling, nearly foaming at the mouth.
En route to jail for disturbing the peace, the man had wild mood swings, at one point calling a deputy "a good soldier" but later cursing at him. When he was brought to the jail's booking area, he resumed barking like a dog ... and then started growling.
DRUNK AS A SAILOR, DRESSED AS A DOCTOR
SAN XAVIER BEAT
JULY 12, 10 P.M.
An intoxicated man dressed in hospital scrubs and a sailor's hat shattered a Circle K store's window—accidentally—a PCSD report stated.
Circle K employees said an older man wearing a sailor's cap—and also scrubs, like a doctor or nurse—had walked up and tried to seat himself in front of the store, but he was so unstable that he instead "threw himself backward" into the storefront with tremendous force, shattering the window.
He then allegedly simply left the scene without a word, despite the presence of many witnesses.
Deputies located him nonchalantly occupying a bus stop (where he'd found a real seat). He was obviously drunk, unable to focus his eyes or correctly give his name (due to bad slurring). Asked for identification, he produced a card displaying a photo of a cat, believing it was his driver's license. Since he looked nothing like the animal on the card (probably some kind of veterinarian's business card), deputies weren't fooled—but he eventually found his real license.
As one deputy handcuffed the man, he uncaringly or unknowingly confessed to criminal damage, saying a cut on his elbow was from "(sitting) down against a window."
The man was given another seat in jail.