NORTH ALVERNON WAY
FEB. 13, 2:04 P.M.
A bus rider pulled out his penis and urinated in the middle of the aisle, then returned to his seat as if he'd done nothing unusual, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.
The bus driver told deputies that the urinator and a companion has boarded the bus, paid their fares and taken their seats. But a short time later, the urinator walked to the front of the bus, unzipped his pants and causally peed on the floor. The man and his companion then got off at the next stop.
The bus driver said he'd endured strange behavior from passengers during his career as a driver, but that urinating in the bus "crossed the line."
A passenger told deputies that the urinator's penis was in plain view while he pissed, adding, "That's just not right."
Deputies found the urinator and his companion walking slowly away from the scene. The pair obeyed the deputies' commands to stop but "were staring off into space" while being questioned, according to the report.
Neither smelled of liquor or had warrants outstanding, and deputies released the urinator's companion.
The urinator, however, was taken to jail on suspicion of indecent exposure.
CHEATED BY THE TOOTH FAIRY?
FEB. 16, 2:10 P.M.
A man accused his ex-girlfriend of stealing his false teeth as revenge for dumping her and kicking her out of his home, a PCSD report said.
The man told a deputy he'd just returned home from the hospital and couldn't find his dentures. He said he was certain he hadn't misplaced them, and he believed that his ex had taken them.
The man told deputies that his (apparently much younger) ex-partner might be located at the residence of his daughter, who was evidently her friend. The deputy found the man's ex there, but she maintained that she knew nothing about his missing dentures, other than that he had lost them several times before.
When the deputy told the man what his ex-girlfriend had said, he stated, "I'll take care of this my way."
No arrests were made.