A CHICK AND AN EGG SITUATION
RINCON BEATJUNE 28, 9:42 P.M.
A woman almost got egg on her face, but it turned out that her husband's aim wasn't so great, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.
Deputies went to the couple's house, where an elderly woman told them she had gotten into an argument with her husband of 25 years because he thought she didn't do enough cooking and cleaning. She asserted that her husband, who was also elderly, was either "constantly drinking tequila" or knocking back at least a 30-pack of beer daily.
The woman said that her husband threw water on her and then threw eggs at her (none of which hit their target). The food fight apparently occurred not in the kitchen but in the bedroom. Deputies reported broken, raw eggs on the woman's bed. They also noted that her shirt was indeed wet.
The woman said her husband had been planning to leave her and had earlier demanded that she get down on her knees and beg him to stay, something she couldn't have done even if she wanted to because of her aging knees.
She said that two days earlier, her husband had told her she "better not go to sleep," and if she did, to "sleep with one eye open." Another time, she said, her husband told her he knew "how to kill people."
The woman said she was pretty sure her husband was harmless and didn't want him arrested; she'd just thought she should tell authorities about the argument.
But deputies arrested the man—who denied throwing eggs at his wife—on suspicion of domestic violence and took him to jail.
STOP INSTAGRAMMING OR THE CAR GETS IT
FOOTHILLS AREAJUNE 27, 12:04 A.M.
A young man retaliated against a threat to his new girlfriend by threatening to mess with his ex-girlfriend's car, a PCSD report said.
The man's ex-girlfriend told deputies that she'd been in a tiff with her ex's new girlfriend through Instagram, apparently posting things that upset her.
The ex-girlfriend reported that when her ex heard about this, he called her from a blocked number and told her, "You mess with people I love, I will mess with the people's things that you love."
He then stated, "I will fuck your cars and their cars."
Deputies determined his statements were too vague (and ungrammatical) to act on at the time, and noted that the ex-girlfriend's car had not been harmed. They told her to call again if tensions escalated.