BUBBLY AND A BATH
WEST VALENCIA ROAD
NOV. 27, 2:43 A.M.
An intoxicated woman apparently tried to bathe in a drugstore bathroom, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.
Deputies responded to a Walgreens, where a young woman had allegedly been "taking a shower" in the store's bathroom sink—after stealing a bottle of champagne.
The manager escorted a deputy to the private bathroom, where they met a 20-something female dressed in a bikini top and jeans; her breasts were covered by napkins. She had red, watery eyes, smelled of alcohol and was completely soaked with water.
The manager brought the deputy a bottle of champagne, valued at $12.49, that was about 80 percent consumed; the manager said the subject had apparently taken the bottle into the bathroom with her. Employees had seen her stealing the bottle, she said; the woman was apparently completely naked in the bathroom when they went to check on her.
The subject claimed she found the champagne bottle in the bathroom garbage.
After a substantial struggle, the deputy was able to handcuff the woman and place her in his patrol vehicle, where she began to yell and curse, repeatedly declaring the situation to be "fucking bullshit." Eventually, the woman admitted stealing the champagne.
The subject had been arrested at the same Walgreens on the previous day for urinating in front of the store. Other businesses in the vicinity had expressed a wish for her to never return to the area.
In the patrol vehicle, the subject kept demanding to be allowed to "pee." After she threatened to pee in the car, the deputy ordered her not to do so. She was booked on multiple charges.
IT'S A STUDY AIDE!
DEC. 6, 2:08 A.M.
A UA officer pulled over a speeding car near Speedway Boulevard and Wilson Avenue, according to a UAPD report. The driver slowly removed papers from his glove compartment and said he couldn't find his insurance—accidentally allowing the officer to see some suspicious foil inside.
The driver then refused to let the officer look inside the compartment. The officer said, "Then there's something in there you don't want me to see." The driver reportedly replied, "Yes. I mean, no."
Eventually, the driver admitted possessing marijuana. He also handed the deputy what looked like a green highlighter pen—but it was actually a smoking pipe.
The subject then announced he had a gun behind his seat. The weapon was secured, and found to have the serial number of a stolen gun. The subject said he'd taken the gun from his stepfather.
He was cited and released after passing field-sobriety tests.