TREE WHISPERER
NORTH THORNYDALE ROAD, JUNE 10, 6:43 A.M.
A man who literally had blood on his hands was violent toward buildings but loving toward flora, a Pima County Sheriff's Department report stated.
Deputies were dispatched to a northeast-side apartment complex in response to a call about a man covered in blood who was looking in people's windows—and who briefly entered one apartment without permission.
He was described as a 25-year-old Caucasian male, mumbling to himself, walking around the complex and using a belt to strike buildings. It was reported that at one point, he was talking to a tree; he also reportedly sat down by a bush and began speaking to it while digging around.
Deputies found the subject and struggled to handcuff him while he screamed and made growling noises. After one deputy delivered a single knee strike to his leg, he suddenly became relatively cooperative. He had a substantial amount of blood on his pants and stomach area, and it was confirmed that this blood came from a wound on one of his hands.
After being informed of his rights, the subject said he understood and proceeded to make incoherent statements about subjects such as friends, school, South Dakota and PlayStation 3.
During treatment at a hospital for the thumb laceration, the subject made odd banter with one deputy, repeatedly asking how his dad was. When asked to explain his behavior, he said he'd been trying to get together a group of people to play Call of Duty on PS3.
Though the subject said he thought he was being arrested for using cocaine and speed, he denied any illicit drug use.
He was booked for trespassing and disorderly conduct.
BLAME IT ON THE DAME
UA AREA, JULY 4, 3:29 A.M.
A young man blamed evidence of his intoxication on romantic activities, a University of Arizona Police Department report stated.
A UA officer pulled over a car for having only one working headlight. Inside, he found a young female passenger and a male driver who identified himself with a state ID. He couldn't produce a driver's license, and claimed it had been stolen. His insurance was expired, and the car had no registration.
When asked to exit the vehicle, the male swayed about an inch from side to side. He had red, watery eyes and emitted a very strong odor of intoxicants.
The subject adamantly denied drinking that night. When asked about his alcohol-laden breath, he said he'd gotten it from kissing his female passenger.
He was charged with driving under the influence.
