SOUTH HOUGHTON ROAD, CORONA DE TUCSON
MARCH 16, 5:52 P.M.
A woman made an odd departure from the normal ABC song during a sobriety test, a Pima County Sheriff's Department report stated.
A deputy met with two men sitting on a bench at a Roadrunner Market convenience store in Corona de Tucson. They said they'd been having drinks at the American Legion Post 109, 15956 S. Houghton Road, when one of the men called his girlfriend to pick them up. But as she was driving them home, they realized she was much more intoxicated than they were.
The woman reportedly almost ran over a bicyclist in a bike lane, and almost hit a parked car. The men said they asked the female to pull over at the Roadrunner Market so one of them could drive. At that point, someone at the store called law enforcement.
A deputy put the woman through sobriety tests, which allegedly showed her to be intoxicated (as did slurred speech and wobbly walking). One test required her to sing the ABC song, which she did. However, at the end of the song, instead of singing, "Next time won't you sing with me?" she sang, "Next time I won't drink and drive."
Still, she insisted to the deputy that she didn't believe herself to be impaired. Nonetheless, she was cited driving under the influence.
PASSED OUT WITH HIS ASS OUT
APRIL 3, 1:46 A.M.
A University of Arizona student passed out naked for reasons that were unclear, according to a UA Police Department report.
A UA officer was called to the Apache Residence Hall, 1440 E. Fifth St., after the resident assistant saw a student—apparently in deep slumber—next to a "pile" of vomit in his room. The student's door was open.
The reporting officer found the student face-down on his bed, apparently completely nude beneath a black blanket. After he was shaken vigorously for awhile, the subject woke up and seemed very confused.
The Tucson Fire Department arrived to tend to him; asked if he had ingested alcohol or drugs, the still-confused subject eventually said, "Drugs," but wouldn't say what kind or how much he'd taken.
About 10 minutes after Fire Department medics arrived, the reporting officer noted, the subject suddenly became lucid, "as if whatever substance was affecting (him had) disappeared."
He walked out of his room and into an ambulance, "completely coherent," and was sent to be evaluated at University Medical Center.
At the conclusion of the report, medics still didn't know why he'd passed out.