SOME ENCHANTED EVENING
MARCH 13, 2:52 A.M.
A couple's attempt at romance allegedly started with illegal drug use and ended with violence, according to a Pima County Sherriff's Department report.
Deputies responded to a house where a male reported that his girlfriend had just broken all of his windows. Deputies chased down and apprehended the woman.
She said she had recently been allowed by a court to again go to her boyfriend's house after some earlier issues, and she was trying to nurture her relationship with him. Accordingly, they'd planned a "romantic" evening together.
They began the evening, she said, in the bedroom, where her boyfriend was smoking crack. When she asked him to get her a beer, she said, he yelled, "Why the fuck don't you go get it?" This apparently started an argument revolving around her feelings that it was unfair that he got to get high, but she didn't get to get drunk.
He said mean things to her during the argument, she claimed, such as suggesting that she go live in the wash and "sell her ass" (which, she assured the reporting deputy, she had never done). She said a physical alteration ensued, after which she ran to a neighbor's house to obtain some pants and shoes. (She'd only been wearing nylons and daisy dukes on her lower half, she explained, because of her expectations of a "romantic evening.")
She admitted breaking her boyfriend's windows after he refused to give her some of her belongings. Both the woman and her boyfriend were taken to jail for domestic violence and criminal damage.
A CHIP AND A PARROT ON THE SHOULDER
NORTH LA CHOLLA BOULEVARD
MARCH 7, 3:11 P.M.
A man with a parrot allegedly made death threats to Walmart customers because he didn't like his life, a Pima County Sherriff's Department report stated.
Deputies reported to a northwest-side Walmart in reference to a man in a red car allegedly driving around the parking lot and yelling, "I'm gonna kill you!" at random passers-by, while he used his fingers to mime shooting a gun. He reportedly had a parrot with him.
Deputies sighted the red car at a nearby residence, where they found a thin man outside with a small, multicolored parrot on his shoulder.
Asked why he thought deputies were there, the subject hung his head and said, "I was being stupid," and admitted yelling threats of murder out his car window and pretending to shoot people. He said he felt like doing it because his "life was so bad right now."
After the subject safely secured his parrot in a cage, he was taken to jail for disorderly conduct.