Police Dispatch

What Would Dondi Do?

UA Area

Nov. 26, 2018, 4:42

A college-going proselytizer had a not-so-legal method for spreading the Word, perhaps showing his preaching game ahead of his practice, a UA Police Department report said.

An officer went to the courtyard of the Integrated Learning Center, 1503 E. University Blvd., regarding a possible vending-machine theft.

There he met a student who'd witnessed a young man forcibly opening a vending machine, extracting a burrito after "pulling on it" for a while. The reportee said he then nonchalantly microwaved the snack and scrawled something on a wall before departing the area.

Finding no obvious damage to the machine, after calling its source company, the officer concluded it hadn't been locked properly.

On a nearby pillar in blue writing he found some graffiti apparently expounding on a Bible verse from the Epistle of James: "Faith without works is dead. Whatever is not faith is sin! So work on faith."

The Christian burrito-eating tagger hadn't been located at the time of the report.