NAPPER WITH SKILLS
SOUTH CAMINO DE OESTE
SEPT. 10, 2:04 A.M.
An intoxicated man using a rapper's alias took a siesta while braking at an intersection, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.
Dispatch received word that a man had been sitting in a white minivan in the left-turn lane at Camino de Oeste and Ajo Way for at least three cycles of the traffic light. The responding deputy approached the minivan and saw the subject snoring with his head back, his eyes closed and his mouth open. The vehicle was still in drive, with the engine on; luckily, the subject had his foot firmly on the brake. He emitted a strong odor of alcohol through the barely cracked-open window.
After repeatedly yelling at the subject to wake up and receiving no response, the deputy opened the car door and yelled again, at which point the subject woke up and looked around, as if he did not know where he was. The deputy had to reach over and put the vehicle in park.
Awhile after being asked his name, the individual was able to say, "Nas."
"Excuse me—is that your name?" said the deputy.
"Yeah, Nas," confirmed the subject. It was later revealed that this was not his true name.
After exiting the car, and after a preliminary breathalyzer test showed he was legally intoxicated, the man began to walk around in circles, puff his chest out and hit himself; he then started crying and saying, "I fucked up," over and over.
The subject said he'd been drinking beer all night at Hooters and a casino, before switching to malt liquor when he got in his car.
He was arrested for drunk driving.
PISSED OFF, PISSED ON
SEPT. 9, 5 P.M.
An alleged would-be dog-abuser relieved himself during a domestic dispute, a PCSD report stated.
A woman said she had been arguing with her husband about her being unemployed. She said he tried to kick and punch her rottweiler through the door of its kennel; when she stopped him, he slapped her on the back of her head. She admitted she was "pissed off" and slapped him back.
When she tried to call 911 on the house phone, she said, her husband grabbed the phone and smashed it on the floor. He then allegedly proceeded to pee on it.
After that, she said, he moved toward the computer table and "wanted to urinate on that," but urinated on her leg instead.
Deputies made contact with the husband as he was trying to drive away from the residence. He appeared extremely intoxicated, and his wife said he'd been drinking Wild Turkey all day.
The husband was arrested; the dog was unharmed.