NO GOOD DEED GOES UN-PISSED-ON
WEST GARDNER LANE
SEPT. 5, 10:06 P.M.
A family's kindness was punished instead of rewarded after they took a local barfly into their home, a Pima County Sheriff's Department report stated.
The lady of the house said a man had been staying with her and her family for five days, rent-free. (He was reportedly not a friend—just a man who "hangs out" at nearby bars and tries to get people to buy him drinks.) The woman said she had just found out that he had ordered about $100 worth of pay-per-view movies on her TV without permission. He had also, she said, been seen urinating in her oven.
Deputies interviewed the woman's son, who said he had witnessed the man arrive home very drunk one night and go into the kitchen, where he stood, mostly motionless, facing the oven for a while. Then the man allegedly returned to the living room to sleep.
Later, the son said, his sister told him there was human urine in the oven. The son realized the urine must have come from their houseguest.
Deputies searched for the subject at nearby bars but couldn't find him, though they heard reports that someone matching his description—a tattooed, bearded man—had recently patronized some of the venues.
MARLBORO MAN GONE BAD
WEST AJO WAY
SEPT. 5, 1:54 A.M.
According to a PCSD report, a convenience-store clerk was tricked by someone with an apparent tobacco addiction.
A clerk at a southwest-side Super Stop convenience store said she had received a phone call from someone claiming to be the regional manager—even giving the correct name of the manager. The caller described a confusing situation regarding a lawsuit wherein someone involved in the case was bed-bound. He then said someone would be coming into the store to collect some items, presumably for the bed-bound person.
At approximately 1:50 a.m., the clerk said, a skinny, scruffy-faced, 20-something Caucasian male entered and said that he was there to pick up the items mentioned on the phone—most notably, five cartons of Marlboro Blend No. 27s, two Bic lighters and $55 in cash. After being given the items, he left in a Discount Cab.
The clerk immediately regretted giving him the items, feeling that "something was not right."
The Discount Cab company denied that any cars had been dispatched to the store.
Eventually, deputies learned that the subject was probably a man who had worked at the A&W restaurant near the Super Stop some time ago. He had been fired for sexual harassment in 2004.
Further investigation was pending at the time of the report.