POOPER-SCOOPERS ARE PRICEY
EAST CONEFLOWER DRIVE
MAY 17, 6:13 P.M.
A petty burglar made a disgusting score in a Tucson man's yard, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.
The property owner said he had just arrived home after working out when he saw a white Suburban parked near a walkway just south of his residence. Looking out his back window, he could see two male individuals in their late 20s, both in need of a shave, eyeing his backyard. One of the men then allegedly entered his backyard over a fence and snagged a pooper-scooper used to clean up after his dog.
"What the fuck?" the homeowner allegedly yelled. This exclamation, he said, caused both intruders to run back to their truck for a quick getaway.
The pooper-scooper was valued at $20.
DISTURBING DENTAL HYGIENE
EAST RIVER ROAD
MAY 22, 5:01 P.M.
A Tucsonan found a small, odd piece of evidence that someone had intruded on her private space, a PCSD report stated.
The reportee said that sometime between May 18 and May 19, someone had been in her bathroom. The only way she knew this was that a toothpick—not hers—had been placed near her toilet.
The victim said that nothing in her apartment had been stolen or vandalized. It was not known how anyone had entered without leaving evidence, as no known acquaintances had a key, and the apartment manager assured her that no maintenance had been scheduled.
ONE THAT DIDN'T GET AWAY
EAST ROCKCLIFF ROAD
MAY 20, 12 P.M.
A woman possessing marijuana turned herself in after nearly escaping scot-free, a PCSD report said.
A deputy met with a reported "suspicious person," a female in her mid-20s described by a security guard as exhibiting slurred speech and disoriented behavior while walking down the street.
The female explained that a friend had dropped her off the night before, and she was just now heading home; she then admitted she had no idea what her current location was. The deputy offered her a ride home, which she accepted.
The deputy ran a check on her and got permission to search her. The deputy placed her bags in his trunk.
At that point, the subject looked at him sheepishly and stated, "I lied to you." She then declared that she had marijuana and a pipe in her possession and proceeded to pull them from a front pocket.
The young woman was cited for possession of marijuana and escorted home.