IF YOU GIVE A DRUNK A COOKIE
WEST RUTHRAUFF ROAD
FEB. 21, 7:50 P.M.
An intoxicated woman literally tossed her cookies while allegedly assaulting two deputies, a Pima County Sheriff's Department report stated.
A deputy responding to an unwanted-person call from a Circle K located the female subject in a nearby parking lot. She was holding a full grocery bag from Walmart and a 40-ounce beer bottle, from which she took three sips before setting it down and approaching the deputy, often wobbling backward.
The deputy reported smelling intoxicants on her from six feet away, and could understand little of her slurred speech, other than, "It doesn't matter what my name is."
The woman then reportedly extracted a food item from her bag and "squished" it before hurling it to the ground. She then proceeded to withdraw a container of cookies and began throwing cookies behind her. Alternately squeezing cookies in her hands and tossing them into the air, she continued to approach the deputy while raising her voice. When another deputy arrived, she reportedly became irate and threw cookies at the first deputy's vehicle.
The woman reportedly tried to spit at one deputy, but no spit came out. She was arrested for drinking in public.
NORTH CAMINO ESPLENDORA
FEB. 15, 10:38 P.M.
Two brothers faced off with large blades, but no injuries occurred, according to a PCSD report.
The younger brother stated that his unemployed older brother had been living on his couch for 15 months. That night, he said, he accidentally woke up the older brother in the living room, which made the older brother get "bent out of shape." A heated argument ensued; the brothers had been drinking heavily.
When the younger brother went back to his room, he reported, he found an 8-inch knife near his bed and said to himself, "You know what, bitch, here's where we are going; look, bitch, let it go, or find your own place"—apparently, a speech for his brother. He said he proceeded to the living room with the knife.
In the hallway, he said, he met his brother—who was holding a machete. They reportedly looked at each other for a while before the younger brother turned around and went back to his room.
The brothers weren't within 10 feet of each other during the encounter, and no violent motions were made. Each brother reported uncertainty as to why he held a weapon in the first place.
The younger brother checked into a hotel for the rest of the night.