WEST ALVARO ROAD
DEC. 31, 7:06 P.M.
A woman was busted with an eight ball in her purse—literally—according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.
The reporting deputy arrived at the Lazy V Saloon and found a woman dressed in red screaming at customers. As he forcefully escorted her out of the establishment, said the report, she could barely walk and emitted an overwhelming odor of alcohol.
When questioned, the subject had a hard time talking and could say nothing except that she wanted her daughter and that she had nothing in her purse, the report said. Upon searching the purse, with permission, the deputy found that it contained three pool balls, including a cue ball and an eight ball.
While transporting the woman to jail for stealing the balls from the bar, the deputy was informed by his passenger that she had a $20 bill inside her mouth. The deputy extracted the bill and placed it into a biohazard bag at the jail. The pool balls were returned to the bar.
The saloon's manager told deputies that the woman had been drinking there for a short time when she began pacing back and forth and screaming at all of the other female patrons, calling them "bitches," because they would not play pool with her.
WE DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE DETAILS
JAN. 18, 8:01 P.M.
A man with excuses and a criminal history turned out to be likely telling the truth about suspicious items found in his possession, a University of Arizona Police Department report stated.
While making rounds, a UA officer stopped a vehicle with a suspended license plate on Campbell Avenue. The officer found that the young male driver also had a suspended driver's license and an outstanding warrant for writing bad checks.
The driver said he had not been aware that his license or license plate had been suspended. He insisted that the Motor Vehicle Division must have suspended both because he had recently switched car-insurance companies.
Upon searching his vehicle, the officer found two syringes full of an unknown liquid, as well as a plastic baggie full of white powder. The subject said the syringes were for "intravenous injection training," and the powder was casting material that he was going to use to construct a homemade "personal pleasure device." No further explanation was forthcoming.
The subject was arrested on the outstanding warrant; later, the clear liquid in the syringes and the white powder did, in fact, test negative for opiates and cocaine, respectively.