IS THAT A BIKE TUBE IN YOUR PANTS, OR ARE YOU JUST HAPPY TO SEE ME?
NORTH LA CHOLLA BLVD.
NOV. 8, 11:45 A.M.
A drunk and belligerent alleged shoplifter was arrested after stuffing an array of large items into his pants, a Pima County Sheriff's Department report stated.
Deputies responded to the Walmart SuperCenter, 7635 N. La Cholla Blvd., where employees had reported a suspicious man yelling at people and acting strange. The subject had reportedly been spitting and screaming, "Fuck!" as well as, "Fuck you!" and, "What the fuck are you looking at?" to customers both inside and outside of the store.
Deputies apprehended the subject, a Caucasian male, walking a silver mountain bike in the store's parking lot. He smelled strongly of alcohol and seemed extremely intoxicated. Upon searching him, deputies found several items that appeared to be new and were still in their packaging, including a wrench set, a pair of vice grips, a package of utility-knife blades, a container of black paint and some type of bicycle-repair kit.
Stuffed down the subject's pants, in his "crotch area," deputies located a new 26-inch inner tube for a bicycle tire, still in the package.
Asked which items were stolen, the subject said he wasn't sure.
While he was being arrested and taken to jail for shoplifting, the man's behavior was very erratic; at one moment, he would seem friendly, and the next, he would be yelling racist remarks at the deputies and saying he was going to "fuck (them) up."
Once at the jail, the subject was booked without incident.
NOV. 13, 12:06 A.M.
A young man with bad luck in keeping bicycle lights decided to inflict his misfortune on another, according to a UA Police Department report.
A UA officer was patrolling Fifth Street when he saw a young male on a BMX bike steal a blinking red bike light from the rear of a locked-up bike. The subject eventually admitted to taking the light; he had apparently been unable to resist its blinking. After stealing it, he said, he did notice a fully marked UA police vehicle near him and thought, "That's not good." However, he decided to continue toward a market, where he was planning on getting a burrito.
Asked why he took the light, the subject said his own bike light was always being stolen, and it was expensive to keep buying new ones.
He was arrested for theft.