POWER-POLE CHAINSAW MASSACRE
SOUTH AVENIDA DON FERNANDO
MAY 21, 3 P.M.
A man's fond memories of a neighbor were marred when the neighbor inexplicably sawed down some power-line poles on his property, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.
The reportee said he had been working outside with his son and a friend when a young man who lived nearby drove up and got out of a truck wielding a chainsaw. The young man declared that he was going to cut down a power-line pole on the reportee's property; the reportee's son said that was probably not a good idea, since the power lines were connected to it. The young man told the son to get out of the way, revved up the chainsaw and proceeded to cut down the pole—before simply driving off. The young man later cut down at least one other power-line pole on the property.
Neither the reportee nor his son could explain the subject's actions. They were worried that he was not thinking clearly and would commit more violent acts.
The reportee reflected that he had known the subject since he was a small child. The subject had evidently never been a power-line-pole-sawing kind of person.
Nobody was hurt; deputies were unable to apprehend the subject at the time of the report.
LEAVE, OR I'LL SQUIRT
EAST PASEO DE LA PEREZA
MAY 20, 6:06 P.M.
A senior used a hose and harsh words to get his family off of his property, a PCSD report stated.
Deputies responded to a call from a belligerent-sounding man who wanted his wife, son and son's friend to be removed from his residence. Arriving at the house, they observed an older Caucasian male squirting water from a garden hose at three individuals outside his house. The man with the hose was apparently expressing a desire to be left alone, although his yells were so slurred—apparently from alcohol consumption—that he was difficult to understand.
Deputies interviewed the reportee's wife, who said her husband had gotten very angry at her when she came home late with dinner. He reportedly started saying "mean stuff" to her, her son and her son's friend. She said her husband was both drunk and senile. (She was also intoxicated, the report noted.)
The husband screamed and cried incessantly; he insisted that he'd only had two drinks, which "seemed very unlikely." Deputies found a loaded .22-caliber pistol underneath his couch.
Deputies drove the wife, the son, the son's friend and the wife's poodle to a gas station for them to find another place to sleep that night. The wife did not want to press charges against her husband; she repeated that the incident "was no big deal."