GOING TO HEAVEN
MAY 13, 10:35 P.M.
A nervous breakdown caused a nonreligious UA student to express his love for Jesus, according to a UA Police Department report.
A UA officer dispatched to the university's Architecture Building saw the subject running, completely naked, toward the police car. The officer stopped the subject by grabbing him, but before he could handcuff him, the subject squirmed away. When he repeatedly ignored commands to stop, the officer Tasered him, after which he was handcuffed and given a blanket to cover his "private areas."
A friend of the subject reported that he'd started acting strangely that day, immediately after changing clothes following a class-picture-taking session. He looked very pale, she said; he stated he had just talked to God and was "going to go to heaven!" He was reportedly not a religious person.
When she told him she would take him home, he said he indeed needed to go home—so his parents could take him to heaven. He then started calling people on his cell phone and saying, "I know I'm going to heaven." When his friends tried to get him in a car to take him home, he entered willingly, but requested to be taken to heaven instead. Just after the car began moving, he dove out head-first.
He began approaching everyone in sight, telling them he loved them and that Jesus loved them, while also attempting to hug them. He sometimes asked for random items such as his glasses or a phone. He then disrobed in the middle of a parking lot and began running around naked.
He was taken to University Medical Center, where staff tried to cover him with a blanket, but he kept removing it, insisting he didn't need clothes to be with Jesus.
The subject's mother said he had been under great stress. He was involved in a large project and was about to graduate. He was also being evicted from his residence.
The subject was kept at UMC for treatment.
ALMOST A COMPLETE BREAKFAST
NORTH FORTY NINER DRIVE
MAY 3, 10:30 P.M.
Unknown pranksters wasted food and sports equipment on vandalism at a northeast-side home, said a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.
The homeowner said someone dumped three large boxes of Quaker oatmeal in her pool. Her son had gone to the door immediately after this occurred and saw three individuals running from the residence, dressed in black and wearing black stocking caps.
This was not the first time her house had been vandalized, the reportee said. Recently, a gallon of milk had been poured on her front doorstep, and a week earlier, exactly 369 golf balls were found in her pool.
No suspects were located.