UA Area, June 10, 2:07 p.m.
A man arrested for allegedly trying to steal things from a parked limousine insisted that it was his innocent pursuit of "pussy" that was unfairly landing him in jail, a University of Arizona Police Department report stated.
The driver of the Hummer limo, which was parked near Arizona Stadium, said he came upon the 20-year-old man as he was rooting around in the vehicle. The suspect fled.
The limo driver positively identified a man authorities apprehended a short time later as the person who had been rustling around inside the car; the driver added that it looked as if someone had gone through his green backpack, which was on the front passenger seat.
The suspect said he had just been moving stuff around in the limousine so he could find a place to have sex with his girlfriend. He reportedly had a small amount of a green leafy substance and rolling papers. The report said the suspect admitted the substance was marijuana.
Officers handcuffed the man and placed him the back seat of a patrol vehicle. The man reportedly started crying and screaming, and insisted that he was hot and was going to die. According to the report, he repeatedly told the officer, "I just wanted some pussy!" An officer booked the man into Pima County Jail on a charge of third-degree attempted burglary.
Authorities later contacted the man's sex partner, who said she had been cheating on her boyfriend with the suspect. She said that after they had sex behind a door on the west side of the stadium, the suspect walked over to the Hummer limousine and got inside, claiming that something was in the limo. When someone else approached the limo, she said she told the suspect to run.
The Pima County Attorney's Office dropped the burglary charge against the man, stating that his intent to steal could not be proven. The report said authorities were determining whether charges stemming from the marijuana possession should be pursued.
A Million Little Pieces
Unincorporated Pima County, July 15, 5:24 p.m.
A man got his cellular phone back from his ex-girlfriend, only it wasn't in the same shape it was when he lent it to her, a Pima County Sheriff's Department report said.
The man said he had asked for his ex-girlfriend to return the phone, because it was in his name. A friend of his ex brought the phone to his place of employment, and it looked as if it had been run over by a vehicle.
The man said he had to pay $50 to get a new phone. There was no further information at the time of the report.