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Police Dispatch

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Biohazard

West Ruthrauff Road and North La Cholla Boulevard May 30, 12:58 a.m.

Deputies found a drunken man passed out at a trailer park in a pool of chunky, orange vomit, a Pima County Sheriff's Department report said.

Deputies noted vomit all over William John Levis' pants and face, the concrete around him and on a rug a trailer's occupants had laid out.

The report said a belligerent Levis called deputies and their children "fucking pigs" when they tried to rouse him, and that he also detailed sex acts that he wanted to perform on one of the deputies.

Authorities booked Levis for one count of underage alcohol consumption and one count of littering--for vomiting all over the trailer's carport.


Mother Knows Best

University Area May 24, 3:20 p.m.

Security guards accused a man of shoplifting by shoving merchandise down his baggy shorts, but were rebuffed by his mother, who claimed her son regularly puts his hands down his pants, according to a report from the University of Arizona Police Department.

Store security at the Arizona Student Union Association Bookstore alleged that the man stuffed at least one DVD in his shorts, and then handed the merchandise off to a friend, who left the store.

The report said a security camera showed the man placing a hand down his shorts and acting suspiciously, but exactly what was going on was obscured by a bookshelf and another one of his friends.

His mother, who was shown the security videotape, said she saw nothing out of the ordinary. When asked why her son would put a hand down his pants, she replied, "He does that all the time," the report said.

ASUA Bookstore management banned the man and his friends, but did not press charges.


Abracadabra

West River Road and North Flowing Wells Road May 25, 6:29 p.m.

According to a PCSD report, a woman said her boyfriend performed a "magic trick" in which he tore one of her $50 bills in half, put one piece in his pocket and then left.

The woman, who admitted drinking about 10 beers, said her boyfriend was angry with her for not resolving a matter with a friend who was going to buy a car from her.

The woman said she wanted deputies to retrieve the other half since her boyfriend had refused to return it. She didn't know his address, but she told them he lived on a street called "Bacardi."

There is no street with that name in Tucson.

The report said the woman began crying when deputies told her they couldn't do anything at the time.

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