Wakey-Wakey, Rum and Nakey
West Ina Road and North Thornydale Road, June 25, 10:27 p.m.
According to a report from the Pima County Sheriff's Department, a mother called deputies because her teenage son was drunk, naked and semi-belligerent.
The mother told a PCSD telephone operator that her 15-year-old son needed help, but was "not exactly violent," the report stated.
When a deputy arrived, she pointed him in the direction of a bathroom where, she said, her son was laying naked in the tub.
The deputy confirmed there was, in fact, a naked boy in the tub. He asked the teenager if he'd had anything to drink; the boy allegedly replied that he'd thrown back four or five alcoholic beverages.
The deputy handed the teen a towel and had him step out of the tub as his mother fetched some clothing, the report stated. The deputy noted the boy's balance was off-kilter and his speech was slow and heavily slurred.
While the teenager was reportedly telling the deputy about the rum-flavored drinks he drank, his mother told another deputy that she had gotten home around 9 p.m. to find her son hosing himself off in the yard.
She said he told her he threw up on himself, so she had him strip down to his underwear before he went to his room, where, she said, he vomited several more times.
Paramedics arrived to check on the boy. Besides being intoxicated, they said he was fine.
Deputies cited the teenager for underage drinking--a misdemeanor.
Clothing: A Common Courtesy?
East River Road and North Campbell Avenue, June 29, 1:36 a.m.
Late-night diners repeatedly encountered a stark-naked man standing on the sidewalk as they were going to and from an apartment, a PCSD record stated.
The first encounter happened after a man and his girlfriend arrived at a restaurant to eat with another couple at about 10:30 p.m., according to the report. The boyfriend forgot something, so he returned to his apartment complex at 4355 N. Rio Cancion Drive.
As he approached his place, he alleged that he saw a man, totally naked, standing on the sidewalk. The boyfriend said the man ran back to his apartment when he yelled at the man to go home.
Back at the restaurant, the boyfriend said, he told everyone what happened and that he was going to call the police. He claimed his dinner mates tried to talk him out of it.
At around 1:10 a.m., the boyfriend said, the group went back to his place after dinner. Again, he alleged, they saw the guy standing on the sidewalk in the buff as they approached the complex. According to the report, the guy started running when they yelled, "What the fuck? Get back into your apartment."
Shortly thereafter the man allegedly re-emerged wearing nothing but a T-shirt. The report stated the man walked up to the gate directly in front of the boyfriend's apartment and started playing with his genitals.
Deputies proceeded to the man's apartment . When the man answered the door, he reportedly stood behind it until a deputy told him to step into plain view. Deputies noted the man was indeed wearing nothing but a T-shirt.
When asked why he was so scantily clad, the man reportedly said he could do what he wanted in his apartment. A deputy replied that he understood, but asked, "When you have somebody knocking at your door, do you not think it would be nice to at least cover yourself up?"
Deputies cited the man, who reportedly admitted drinking, for indecent exposure. He denied all accusations, the record said.