I Know Who Killed Me

Rated NR

Writer Jeffrey Hammond’s nonsensical plot follows Aubrey (Lindsay Lohan), a prim-and-proper schoolgirl with an entirely blue wardrobe who gets abducted, tortured and left for dead in a ditch. After recuperating—minus a couple of limbs—the oddly unfazed victim now claims to be Dakota, a promiscuous chain-smoking stripper with an entirely red wardrobe. The film then throws in a soap-opera-style long-lost identical twin, unsympathetic FBI agents and, finally, scenes of Lohan pole dancing, just for the sake of having scenes of Lohan pole dancing. Director Chris Sivertson’s kindergarten-level color scheme and obnoxious soundtrack make this torture porn dead on arrival.

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