House of 1000 Corpses

The truth in the title is incomplete; it should have been called House of Horror Movie Caricatures Leading to 1000 Mutilated Corpses Shown With Nauseated Exaggeration in Blood and Guts. This banal gore fest follows two Brady Bunch bumble heads down a dark, rain-drenched road on Halloween night toward a secluded mansion in search of the local legend cleverly named Dr. Satan. Gee, I wonder if Mr. and Mrs. John Q. Public will be in danger? Sure enough, a sickening series of satanic rituals, cannibalism and murders fill the screen in a contrived blur of X-rated carnage, thus torturing the Publics and viewers alike. Sadistic singer, Rob Zombie, makes his debut behind the camera with this stomach-churner that was shelved over a year for being too gory. It was not screened for reviewers for being too terrible and should be laid to rest in Hollywood Hell for all of eternity.