Welcome to this very special issue of the Tucson Weekly: Our second annual Get Out of Town! issue. It's a simple exercise, really: We pick people or groups (or whatever) that annoy us, and we kick them out of town. Of course, we have no authority to actually banish anyone, and nobody ever leaves, so the end result is that nothing changes. But it's fun, anyway.
This is one of those issues that, inevitably, will force some cretin to write us a snotty letter, bitching about the "fact" that we're always mean and negative. Well, put down that pen, Mr. Cretin: Next week, we'll honor some folks we consider to be true local heroes. The week after that, we'll have our year in review, which we used to call Dubious Achievements, except Esquire went and copyrighted that phrase, so we have no idea what we'll be calling it yet.
Then, it will be January 2005, the month in which George W. Bush will be inaugurated for his second term. Sigh.
But let's not think about any of that. It's the holiday season, gosh darn it! Ho ho ho! What better time of year is there to, um, kick people out of town? Anyway, I'll give you a sneak preview: I guarantee someone very close to you is getting the boot. Check it out.