Feardotcom

Rated NR

If you think blue tint, naked breasts, little white girls and atrocious dialogue are scary, then this film’s for you! Ostensibly, it’s a horror movie wherein those who look at a certain web site (which is not fear.com, but rather feardotcom.com, strangely enough) all die within 48 hours. Actually, it’s more like a two-hour-long Nine Inch Nails video, except with much worse acting. Lead Stephen Dorff’s pedestrian work looks like Olivier compared to Natascha McElhone, who does a deer-in-the-headlights impersonation that mysteriously combines "wooden" with "bathetic." The real winner, though, is Jeffrey Combs as detective Sykes. It’s a performance too dreadful to be believed, a collection of quotes from all of the worst cop films of the last 80 years. I’d almost recommend seeing this movie just for the outstandingly bad script (it’s literally about 50 percent artificial expository dialogue) the jaw-droppingly incompetent acting, and the really pretty decent visual effects. Seriously: the visual effects are good.

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