Cheap Thrills

TIMELESS TRUTH: Gather 'round you all the consumer goods you crave. Little matter--when the final bell tolls, there ain't a chance in Hades that you're going to enter the Great Beyond toting your grand cache.

Therein lies the nugget of truth at the heart of You Can't Take It With You, presented by Quicksilver Productions. The classic Kaufman and Hart comedy is geared to all ages.

Show times are 8 p.m. Thursday through Saturday, July 27 through 29, and 2 p.m. Sunday, July 30 in the TCC Leo Rich Theatre, 260 S. Church Ave. Tickets are $7, and are available by calling 797-4792.

HOUSE CALL: Home efficiency guru John Tooley explains how to make su casa run better in a seminar hosted by TEP.

Ranked among the country's most respected innovators in building science technologies, Tooley's main goal is to help people understand in plain English why homes operate the way they do, and how they can be improved. His talents have garnered much acclaim--and the Energy Efficient Building Association's coveted Joule Award. He's also diagnosed more than 5,000 homes for civilians like yourself.

Today, Tooley shares this knowledge with his Total Home Seminar. The free lecture runs from 6 to 9:30 p.m. Thursday, July 27 in the Holiday Inn City Center, 181 W. Broadway Blvd. Call 884-3962 for reservations and other information.

WET ONES: Summer's barely begun, you say, and you're already sweating your keister off? Not to worry, over-heated readers. Those dedicated souls of Tucson Parks and Recreation have come to the rescue with their delightful, delirious weekend pool parties.

These watery refuges include Teen Nights every Friday, featuring music, refreshments and plenty of adolescent frolicking. The watery wing-dings continue with Family Nights on Saturday, complete with refreshments and movie screenings.

Teen Night runs from 7:30 to 11 p.m. Friday, July 28 at the El Pueblo Pool, 5100 S. Missiondale Road, and the Purple Heart Rita Ranch Pool, 10050 E. Rita Ranch Road. Family Night runs from 7 to 10 p.m. Saturday at the same locations. For information, call 791-4873.

MILLENNIUM MISSION: The White Dove of the Desert was nearly a scrawny badlands turkey before Patronato San Xavier--also known as Pals of the Mission--started raising cash for a desperately needed facelift several years ago.

Lots of glad-handing and a couple of million bucks later, the old Dove is looking great. Northernmost in a string of missions founded by Father Eusebio Francisco Kino in the 1700s, San Xavier is considered among the finest examples of Spanish mission architecture still standing. It's also home to stunning religious murals and figures, now all gleaming under ongoing restoration. And a newly opened museum, devoted to the area's indigenous people, is adjacent to the church.

San Xavier is open to visitors 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. every day. Drive south on I-19 to exit 92, turn west and follow the signs. Call 294-2624 for information.