A University of Arizona Police Department report alleges that an FBI agent was caught masturbating in a women's restroom stall at the UA student union on Thursday, May 3.

UAPD Sgt. Eugene Mejia confirmed that Ryan James Seese is an FBI agent, who, according to the report, appears to be based in Phoenix. Mejia said Seese was cited and released to his supervisor, after the supervisor gave police permission to search the agent's government-issued vehicle, which was parked in a garage near the student union.

Deborah McCarly, a spokeswoman with the FBI's Phoenix division, said only that "an employee" has been accused of wrongdoing, citing confidentiality rules that prevented her from identifying the person or his or her position. She referred all questions back to UAPD.

"As it is their investigation, it is their matter, and obviously we're not going to comment on their investigation," McCarly said.

According to Mejia, Seese was to be arraigned earlier this morning on charges of public sexual indecency, public indecency and trespassing.

Check next week's Police Dispatch for the gory details.

This just in from the Humane Society

Due to the sudden and large influx of young kittens, the Humane Society of Southern Arizona is in desperate need good quality (not store brand) canned kitten food. We bought nine cases last week and it is all gone already and we can’t afford to keep buying this food. ... Donations can be brought to the shelter seven days a week from 9 am to 6 p.m. (3450 N. Kelvin Blvd.)

Here are a few events that were received too late for inclusion in our print issue:

• Thursday, May 24 from 7 to 10 p.m.

  Windmill Inn, 4250 N. Campbell Ave.

  Build Residual Income. Multi-million dollar producer Julie Mirr will teach methods, strategies and techniques to build lifetime residual income. Free. Call 219-7060 for info.

• Sunday, May 27 at 2 p.m.

  Casas Adobes Congregational Church

  6801 N. Oracle Road

  Classic Elegance for Violin. Violinist Carla Ecker and pianist Michael Dauphinais perform works by Corelli, Mozart, Sarasate and Beethoven. $12 general, $10 seniors, $5 students available at the door. Call 465-6264 for info.

• Monday, May 28 from 11 a.m. to noon

  Bookmans, 3733 W. Ina Road

  Creepy Crawly Zoo. Enjoy an interactive experience with creepy, crawly things of all shapes and sizes. Free. Call 881-1744, ext. 112 for information.

• Tuesday, May 29 from 7:30 to 9 a.m.

  El Parador, 2744 E. Broadway Blvd.

  Regional Town Hall Breakfast. Priscilla Storm, Diamond Ventures' director of special projects, will speak on the background and reason for the Tucson Regional Town Hall. $12, $10 for members of the Sunbelt World Trade Association. Call 360-2240 for information.

This just in from Primavera's Sarah Murphy:

We need bottled water at Primavera for our homeless men, women and children. Donations can be dropped off at 702 S. Sixth Ave. in Armory Park. ... The summer is hot!

Please ... help them out!

House Minority Leader John Boehner on the Senate immigration reform package.

Hey, ladies: Get better O with G-Shot.

Apple is not at all happy with the iGasm.

What do you get when you mix bees, an Amazonian ritual and Mick Jagger's cock?

Tedski over at Rum, Romanism and Rebellion reported earlier this week that Congressman Raul Grijalva's appearance on The Colbert Report is scheduled to air Thursday, May 24. Hey, that's tomorrow! We'd tell you what time, but the midtown bureau's satellite dish gives us an East Coast feed of Comedy Central, so we don't know when it airs for all you normals out there.

Just like last week, the Arizona House of Representatives voted on a budget on Tuesday afternoon, past The Skinny's deadline. When the column appears online later today through the magic of technology, you'll be directed here for an update on the vote.

So here you go: House Speaker Jim Weiers managed to resurrect his budget by the narrowest of margins--with 31 votes.

What does that mean? It's kinda like when Punxsutawney Phil sees his shadow on Groundhog Dog: We've got six more weeks, more or less, of lawmaking ahead of us.

Basically, the return of the House budget puts the House and Senate into a staring match. As we've mentioned before, the Senate budget is heavier on the social spending and lighter on the tax cuts than the House budget. The Senate budget has something else going for it: Gov. Janet Napolitano has said she'd sign it. We doubt that holds true for the House budget.

We feel kinda sorry for the members of the Senate and the Democrats in the House. But we've got little sympathy for the 31 Republicans who voted for the House budget out of misplaced loyalty to the speaker. They've only got themselves to blame as the session drags on and on and on ...

Rasmussen Reports has some interesting survey numbers regarding illegal immigration. The polling firm notes that 56 percent of adults surveyed support an enforcement-only approach to securing the border. More than six out of 10 people would support hiring 6,000 more Border Patrol agents, while 43 percent say they'd support hiring 100,000 more BP agents.

Support was significantly lower when people were asked whether they supported a path to citizenship for people in the country illegally combined with more border security. Just 42 percent said yes, while 44 percent were opposed.

The polling firm also noted that President George W. Bush was sinking to his lowest ratings ever. As the report notes:

Each time immigration reform dominates the news. President Bush’s Job Approval ratings tumble to new lows. Last week, a much-heralded agreement on “comprehensive” immigration reform was announced. By Saturday, the President’s Job Approval had fallen to 34. Just as important, the number who Strongly Approve of the President’s performance dipped to 13%. Both figures are the lowest ever recorded by Rasmussen Reports.

Overall, it is the War in Iraq that has hurt the President the most. However, immigration adds to the downward pressure on his numbers in a unique way—immigration costs the President support among his base. Today, as the immigration debate formally begins in Congress, just 68% of Republicans give the President their Approval.

Fresh from his blow-out with Texas Sen. John Cornyn, Sen. John McCain went all Looney Tunes on Mitt Romney over the former Massachusetts governor's criticism of the Senate's immigration-reform package.

From the AP report:

Republican John McCain accused presidential rival Mitt Romney of flip-flopping on immigration Monday and said with sarcasm: "Maybe his solution will be to get out his small varmint gun and drive those Guatemalans off his lawn."

It's a pretty funny line for those who have followed Mitt's campaign. As AP reporter Liz Sidoti explains later in the piece:

Romney has faced criticism for calling himself a lifelong hunter even though he joined the National Rifle Association in August and officials in four states where he has lived said he never took out a hunting license. Defending himself, he said in April, "I've always been a rodent and rabbit hunter, small varmints, if you will."

Also, The Boston Globe reported late last year that several illegal immigrants, including at least one from Guatemala, worked at the lawn care company that worked on Romney's two-and-a-half acre property in a Boston suburb for a decade. His aides have said that Romney was not aware of the workers' status, and that the owner was in the country legally.

A rodent and rabbit hunter? OK, Elmer Fudd: Best of luck getting that scwewy wabbit this season!