For many early risers, 92.1 KFMA's The Frank Show is like 15 cups of coffee blended into one--without the caffeine headache. Plus, the buzz lasts nearly five hours; from 5:30 to 10 a.m., Frank's signature blend of shock humor has, according to the show's theme song, made his radio program "world famous." Tucsonans have no choice to agree. From on-air boxing matches to armpit farting contests, The Frank Show satisfies a deep-seated need for a little jolt in the morning. Sure, you could drink a few cans of soda to achieve the same effect, but would it leave a smile on your face? The Magic 8 Ball says chances are slim.

Runners up:

2. Kidd Squid, KXCI 91.3 FM

3. Bobby and Brad, KMXZ 94.9(MIXfm)

Sign of the impending apocalypse/unclear on the concept: Michael Savage (two votes)