John Cusack should fire his agent and maybe
kick him in the balls for even suggesting he
take the role of Eddie Thomas in this
impressively stupid "romantic" "comedy."
Cusack stars as the cuckolded husband of
horribly spoiled screen queen Gwen Harrison
(the no-talent Catherine Zeta-Jones-Douglas).
He must reunite with her to salvage the
upcoming release of their final movie
together, Time Over Time. Co-writer
and producer Billy Crystal does a glib
walk-thru as Lee Phillips, the studio
publicist who's trying to salvage his job by
organizing a press junket for the film,
despite the fact that no one has seen it yet.
You see, the film's director is a bit touched
(What's this? Christopher Walken playing a
nutjob? Getouttahere!), and won't allow any
studio scum to view it before it's shown at a
remote Nevada resort to provincial
entertainment reporters from the hinterlands.
Tucson's own junket lickspittle, Fox
11's Jim Ferguson, has a brief cameo (don't
blink). Cusack is at first completely
overwrought in his lovesickness, but then
miraculously regains his Everyman-style
composure in time to see that he's really in
love with Gwen's formerly zaftig sister Kiki.
That listless performance by Julia Roberts is
evidence that even she knows
Sweethearts is a dog. And, as if to
bite the hand that feeds
her, Roberts gallingly insults her most loyal
audience-- verweight white females--by
donning this year's blackface, a fatsuit.
Message? Lose the blubber and the leading man
will be yours. That's healthy. Avoid this
like the middlebrow plague that it is.
Director: Joe Roth
Cast: Julia Roberts, Billy Crystal and Catherine Zeta-Jones