by Dan Gibson
Great news from noted food site Deadspin: the chimichanga, which is still, criminally, not Arizona's official state dish, is better than the unofficial state dishes of 32 other states (take that, Utah's "green Jell-O with goddamn carrots in it").
However, that also means that 17 other states have better unofficial state dishes than we do. While I can live with the idea that Kansas City and Memphis style ribs (tied for 15th) might be better than our chimichanga (let's be honest with ourselves, ribs are delicious), but the Mission-style burrito (3rd for California)? ALL THEY DID WAS ADD RICE. Two chili dogs? (Rhode Island, 11th; West Virginia, 17th) I like chili dogs as much as any human being alive, but we're talking about a burrito (delicious already) that gets FRIED then more delicious stuff is put ON TOP. This is how all delicious things are made.
Clearly, some of the stink from our state's previous antics were factored into the decision:
Somebody dropped a burrito into a deep-fryer and out came Arizona's signature food, which no one in Arizona eats, because half the people in Arizona are too old for solid foods, and the rest are on the run from white-supremacist paramilitary border militias.
I would eat a chimichanga every day if I could, and yes, I probably should be looking over my shoulder for those militias, but if I go out eating a chimi, that would be almost as bad-ass as lying on the floor of a meth lab while a Badfinger song plays. We all have to live with our choices.
We can't necessarily fix the bias of internet blogger types, but we can restart the campaign to get the chimi named the state's official food. Someone convince Ray from El Charro to hire Jonathan Paton as a lobbyist. It's time to get this taken care of.