A Phoenix man (who apparently loves the hell out of being in front of TV cameras) had a package stolen from off of his doorstep, and took his fight to the streets — and to Phoenix's KPHO.
Now sure, the guy has a sense of humor about the whole matter (after all, he only lost an ice tray and Keurig coffee pods), but damned if he doesn't like to chew through scenery like Al Pacino in Any Given Sunday.
Still, I suggest you take a look at the wanted poster he's been slapping up all over his neighborhood (using University of Arizona duct tape, no less — a Tucson connection!), because it's got a few gems scattered around on it:
Description of Perp: Jerk
Eyes: Vacant, uncaring and lacking a soul
Distinguishing Marks: Shameful and a super awkward running style
Parental Involvement: Lacking