First, I'd like to give you a moment to cancel your plans for Friday night. It's ok. The blog post can wait.
Now that you've taken care of that, because you are clearly a person of discerning cultural taste, you'll be at the Loft Cinema at 10 p.m. Friday night for the Trapped in the Closet Sing-Along. The idea is relatively simple: 22 chapters of the greatest musical storytelling experience ever to involve an male asthmatic midget stripper will be projected on a screen, with convenient subtitles so you can sing along with the rest of the audience. If that wasn't enough, the festivities will be kicked off with a selection of R. Kelly's greatest non-"Closet" greatest hits, including his classic remix to "Ignition." You might still be bitter because the cruise was cancelled, but this will be a great opportunity to experience the work of a living genius with your friends and neighbors. Plus, free Trapped in the Closet condoms! What more could you ask for?
General admission tickets are $8, two bucks cheaper for Loft members.