by Jim Nintzel
Big congratulations to Arizona’s Sarah Gonzales, the big winner of Project White House and sixth-place finisher in Tuesday’s presidential primary.
Gonzales, who earned the Tucson Weekly’s endorsement in the Republican primary, had 1,464 votes as of yesterday. Gonzales clobbered former Louisiana governor Buddy Roemer, who got only 657 votes. She trails Texas Gov. Rick Perry by just 418 votes.
Gonzales, who describes her unexpectedly strong showing as “crazy,” suggests that, as the only woman on the GOP ballot, she was an attractive candidate to Republicans who are unhappy with the way the four GOP front-runners are talking about women’s rights.
“I think Republican women and some Republican in general are tried of extremist views, but there’s no other options for them,” Gonzales says. “So me just existing—I don’t think they knew my opinions or my views—gave them an option. With women’s bodies right now, it’s so crazy. It’s a battleground. There’s a war being waged on women.”
Despite coming in sixth on the Arizona ballot, Gonzales says she’ll likely suspend her campaign for the presidency rather than take it to the convention later this year.
“Somebody asked me if I was going to be Mitt Romney’s running mate, but I thought it was a ploy to get me to self-deport, so I said no,” says Gonzales, who still intends to remain a Republican for the time being and see how it works out.
The other Perry on the ballot didn’t fare quite as well. Al “Dick” Perry—who enjoyed a hot streak out the gate with mentions on Rachel Maddow, Talking Points Memo, and Texas Monthly—ended up with 288 votes, including family members throughout the state.
Perry said he believed his placement in the No. 4 slot on the ballot cost him votes because many of his supporters were looking for his name at the bottom and the ballot and inadvertently voted for Rick Perry.
"i think Rick Perry stole a lot of votes away from me," Perry said.
He said that he would be wrapping up his presidential campaign.
"I'm not cut out for for politics," Perry said. "The people have spoken."
Cesar Cisneros, who apologized to his fellow Americans in the first Project White House debate when it collapsed in disarray over the outing of Pinal County Sheriff Paul Babeu: 398 votes.
Mark Callahan, who didn’t participate much outside of filling out the Project White House questionnaire: 327 votes.
Donald Benjamin, who campaigned on a platform of replacing Congress with a junta of sixth-graders and requiring grocery stores to adopt more uniform organization: 208 votes
Michael Levinson, who promised that he could “change the course of human history on our water planet” if he were only allowed to make a globalized speech to mankind (“I speak, I win”): 202 votes.
Kip Dean, who announced during the debates that he was OK with dope-smoking zombies wandering the aisles of grocery stores: 190 votes.
Ronald Zack, who confessed off the bat that his “main purpose in running is to enrich myself and some of my friends, legally through collateral benefits of the office, and to have the opportunity for unlimited travel with members of my extended family”: 142 votes.
Matt Welch, who dropped out of Project White House a week before the primary: 78 votes.
Jim Terr, who wanted to bribe his way into office to institute campaign-finance reform: 57 votes.
And, as of yesterday, we had a tie between two friends: Peter “Simon” Bollander, who laid out his plans to change America in an ambitious 10-Star Program, and Charles Skelley, the semi-retired engineer who with a zeal for restoring Adam Smith’s invisible hand of the marketplace. Both candidates, who also ran for president as part of Project White House in 2008, received 53 votes.
Our Green Party endorsement could not put Richard Grayson out ahead of the campaign juggernaut of Michael Oatman among Project White House candidates:
Michael Oatman: 37 votes
Richard Grayson: 35 vores
Gary Swing: 30 votes
All three candidates finished just behind Kent Mesplay of San Diego, who is one of two Green Party candidates competing in other states for the Green Party nomination. Mesplay got only 40 votes, losing to Green Jill Stein, who got 350 votes.