Pat Robertson and God Are Keeping Secrets, Those Jerks

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God and Pat Robertson were chatting the other day about the fate of our country (as they do), and the omniscient creator of the universe and some old guy who used to own a cable network played a fun little guessing game about what would destroy America as we know it. Spoiler alert: it's the economy, and it's totally our own fault.

Of course, whatever those voices are that Pat Robertson talks to have been wildly wrong in the past (unless Jay Rockefeller was elected president in 1996 and I missed it) and for some reason, the Christian community hasn't dug a Robertson-sized hole in the ground and dropped rocks on his head as prescribed by the Old Testament yet. So there's that.

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