You Should Thank the Baby Jesus for America

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I suppose if you spent any time actually thinking about it, the idea might occur to you that any sort of change in the fabric of time might change whether there would be an America today, not just the birth of Jesus. Or, if you had any sense of church history, you might consider that Christmas has never been the center of the church calendar, since the birth of Jesus is shadowed by his resurrection as the essential part of the Christian faith, so really maybe we should be arguing about the secular war on Easter, although no such thing actually exists. But, why think, right? Let's just make up some sort of fake persecution, so we can feel like the world is unfair to conservative, white and mainstream Christianity:

If Jesus Christ had never been born, there would be no United States of America. If Jesus Christ had not been born, I would not be writing this column and you would not be reading it. Christmas is the reason we Americans live in the greatest country in the world.

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If Jesus Christ had never been born, there would be no Christmas celebration. The American economy depends on people buying other people Christmas gifts each year. That is why the idea of "holiday" shopping is so ridiculous. No one buys gifts to celebrate Thanksgiving Day. The kids don't run downstairs at 5 a.m. on New Year's morning. Overwhelmingly, Americans exchange gifts with friends and family precisely because it is Christmas. Ask American retailers and they will tell you—it's the most wonderful time of the year. It is hypocrisy of the highest order for retailers to make their living from Christmas sales, and yet be too politically correct to even acknowledge that fact in their advertising, pretending that people are "holiday" shopping. Who are they trying to kid?

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