Devils and witches and ghosts — ho-hum. Halloween costumes can be about as creative as the latest reality show. We can only watch spoiled housewives scream at each other so many times before we start to snooze. The same holds true for the bland and overdone Halloween costumes. You know the type: the standard stable of serial killers, zoned-out zombies and female pirates with too much cleavage.
But don’t fret. There is still time to break free from the band of bland with a stunningly creative costume that packs plenty of pizzazz.
Like a virus. Credit for this doozy of a getup goes to a New York City poet who happened upon the idea while perusing “The Big Picture Book of Viruses.” Before you pooh-pooh the costume as disgusting, do check out the gorgeously brilliant hues of the Picornaviridae line of infections. They are incredibly intense as well as loads sexier than any pirate cleavage could be.
The virus costume design is open, depending on the virus you choose, but it will surely include amazing textures and patterns.
While not as sexy as a virus, a nosebleed costume does get kudos for being unique. This idea comes from one of those works of fiction that outlines the horrors of teen life in a high school full of nasty cliques. Although the exact book remains forgotten, the scene does not.
A young woman dresses up for school in head-to-toe red thinking she’ll make a dashing fashion statement. She is instead told she looks like a nosebleed. The nosebleed costume includes red or maroon clothing that can include tights, fringed skirt or pants, draping shirt and lots of bandages. Red face makeup and long maroon wig make dandy finishing touches. Another finishing touch is a full-fledged demonic mask, although past experience with demon masks have proved they tend to result in panic attacks from coworkers who don’t expect to see a demon standing over by the copy machine.
Oddball movie or book characters are another creative choice of costume, with Alex DeLarge leading the pack. For those who may have forgotten this fine young fellow, Alex DeLarge was the pack leader in “Clockwork Orange.” The character even merits honors as one of the greatest film villains as well as one of the greatest movie characters of all time. The American Film Institute ranks him as high as greatest villain No. 12, a full six slots above the shark named Bruce who had the starring role in “Jaws.”
Alex’s costume consists of a white shirt, white pants, white suspenders, black boots, black derby-type hat and a right eye outfitted with false eyelashes. Don’t forget the bloody eyeball stuck to the shirt cuff. Cane and codpiece are optional.
Dressing as Alex can be loads of fun, but there is the slight risk it will result in confusion. Those not familiar with “Clockwork” have the habit of mistaking Alex for a Good Humor man, or a perverted Good Humor man if you wear the codpiece.
And don't forget roadkill. You can create this simple yet breathtaking get-up at the last minute using items you probably already own. Start by mangling a standard T-shirt and pair of jeans, adding holes, red paint and black skid marks. Add a vest festooned with chunks of bloodied faux fur. Throw on a cap adorned with more bloody chunks and smear some black makeup in the form of tire tracks on your face. Voila! and away you go.
Just be forewarned if you wear a roadkill costume to the annual Halloween bash at Loews Ventana Canyon you don’t get a very warm reception. But then again, zombies and vampires aren’t really known for their warmth and coziness anyway.
Ryn Gargulinski, aka Rynski, is a writer, artist, performer and poet. Her column runs in the “Tucson Weekly” print edition monthly and weekly on Friday on “The Range.” See more writing and art from RYNdustries at ryngargulinski.com and rynski.etsy.com.