by Dan Gibson
I'm sure that every kid that's given a copy of the New Testament instead of candy on October 31st is going to be totally psyched about attending your church.
Wait, this isn't Bizarro America where kids hate candy and love to be proselytized by total strangers and where black is white and people say "Goodbye" instead of "Hello!". It's actual America, where this idea completely defies logic entirely.
A note to Tucson churches: those "harvest festivals" churches often put on, with a few jumping castles, and other stuff kids like (including candy!) providing a safe environment for families...those are actually a decent idea, providing a non-threatening, useful service to your neighborhood. Trying to change the identity of an event people seem to like? Bad idea and really only useful in reminding me that I should listen to the band Ween more often.