One woman's attempt to steal some bacon to buy more lager gets her in The Sun and an unfortunate title:
A SHOPLIFTING mum downs up to 28 pints of lager in a single day, a court heard.
Dawn Marsden, 31, drinks so much she should be dead, experts said.
She was wrecked as she appeared on a theft charge and had to ask reporters later what her sentence was.
Jobless Marsden spends all day drinking cheap lager at home in Hartlepool, Teesside, and steals to fund her habit. The charge related to ten packs of bacon stolen from a Co-op and sold for £1 each.
Her solicitor John Relton told the town's magistrates: "You may have noticed my client has a drink problem. She will drink up to 16 litres a day. She has a long-standing appetite for alcohol."
Her two-year-old daughter was taken into foster care because of her boozing, the court heard. Marsden, who has a string of previous convictions for theft, admitted the new charge and was handed a six-month conditional discharge.
She then turned to a reporter to check the sentence, before branding it a "sham" and walking out.
Watch out, this could end up being a reality competition shortly. A sad one, with a lot of vomiting, but that hasn't stopped TV networks before.