"I Have the Pig. The One With Wings."

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I couldn't let the week go by without props to Anna Mirocha, who delivers an awesome Police Dispatch. I thought last week hit new heights with the "shed fucker," but she topped it with this latest pig caper:


The victim gave sheriff's deputies an envelope containing what appeared to be a typed ransom letter for the stolen winged swine. The letter had been left on the windshield of her car that day, she said. Attached to the letter was a photograph of the ornament, with a newspaper behind it boasting the date of June 7, 2009. The victim thought that may have been the date the pig was stolen.

The ransom letter read: "I have the pig. The one with wings. Yeah, that one. You think you're so smart. Well, so am I. ... Oh yeah, and the pig is really quiet so I can't call you so you can hear its voice. You know, to make sure it's OK. No matter how much I ask it to speak, it just won't talk. So, trust that the pig is OK. Once I know what I want, well, it will be on ... on like Donkey Kong."

It gets weirder.

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