by Jim Nintzel
Postmodern Barney has collected Uncomfortable Plot Summaries. A sample:
BLADE RUNNER: Man with no apparent skill stumbles into escaped robots, fails to kill most, fucks one.
BOOGIE NIGHTS: Deformed boy goaded into life of crime.
BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY’S: Pretty redneck girl fools socialites, flirts with gay gigolo.
CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY: Deranged pedophile big-business industrialist tortures and mutilates young children.
CHINATOWN: Father desires closer relationship with his children.
DEBBIE DOES DALLAS: Cheerleaders develop valuable entrepreneurial skills.
DONNIE DARKO: Hallucinating teen crushed by airplane engine.