Your Thursday News Update

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So, what's going on in the world today?

-- There's a leak in the roof at Weekly World Central, right over the crime/county/UA desk.

-- There's a new issue of the Weekly out, which you can see right over there on the, um, right.

-- Gabby Giffords' boyfriend took his vehicle and docked with the space shuttle. I expect a press release from her campaign trumpeting this fact any minute.

-- Kim Jong Il keeps hinting to the world that he has a really miniscule penis.

-- Emmy nominations are out, and if Arrested Development doesn't win for best comedy series, I shall have a major snit, unless The Office wins, in which case I'll have a minor snit.

-- And finally, autoerotic asphyxiation in Arizona seems to have caught the attention of The Associated Press.

That's all the news in the world. Thanks for reading.

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